The pain of loving someone who wasn’t real

Is It a Crime to Fall in Love?”
Spoken Word by John

I was just a boy with a heart too open,
A heart too honest in a world too broken.
Her name was (undisclosed)
And she was my first real taste of forever.

We were both virgins, both new to this game,
Told each other secrets, shared laughter and pain.
I gave her my truth, my trust, my time,
Built something sacred—something I thought was mine.

But love?
Love doesn’t always love you back.
Sometimes it just… breaks you.

We had a fight.
Distance. Silence.
But not goodbye.
Not for real.
Not yet.

While I was figuring out if we could heal,
She was out there giving herself to someone else—
Not a week in,
Not even done with exams,
And she let him in.

I didn’t know.
I came back like a man.
Heart in hand.
Ready to love her again.

She welcomed me—
Like nothing happened.
Like betrayal was just…
A detail to be buried.

I loved her harder.
More than before.
Thinking I was saving something worth it.
But she had already burned it.

And then came the dreams…
Three of them.
Warnings.
Visions.
Like Peter betraying Jesus—
One, two, three.

And the third?
The truth.

She called it a “mistake.”
But cheating ain’t a mistake.
It’s a choice.
A decision.
A dagger to the heart with precision.

And what hurt most?
She played the victim.
Told my friends I broke her,
Told them I “took” her like she wasn’t there,
Like I didn’t care,
Like I wasn’t the one bleeding out from the love I gave.

So I ask again—
Is it a crime to fall in love?
Is it wrong to give your all?
To be real in a world that fakes it?

I didn’t cheat.
I didn’t lie.
I just loved a girl who wore a mask.

And now, here I am.
Picking up the pieces.
Not of her…
Of me.

Because walking away ain’t weakness—
It’s healing.

You can give someone your whole heart,
And they can still break it.
But I promise you—
That break won’t be the end of you.

So let her go.
Let the pain grow you.
Let the truth mold you.
Let the next love find a version of you
That’s wiser,
Stronger,
Untouchable.

I was real.
She wasn’t.
And that…
That’s all the truth I need